Sick,

These past two weeks, I've been so freakin' sick. My nose is so stuffy, I have to keep my mouth open to breathe! So when I sleep, I wake up with the bigggest drool stain. I know, sexy huh ;)


I've been doing all my homework, and even started early on long term assignments. I'm finished my FAFSA. I already did everything I can with Cal State Fullerton. I've finished my community service hours. I've paid my ticket. I've finished traffic school. Basketball season has been long over. I've paid all my fines. I've tighten all loose ends. I've crossed all my T's and dotted all my I's, but it feels like I'm forgetting about something. I don't know what it is. It's like I'm so used to stress that I can't just relax and take the time to enjoy finally not having anything to do.


I take pride in the advice I give people. I'm used to a lot of people coming to me to ask what to do. The advice that I give is cutthroat and straight forward. It's meant to benefit everyone in the situation. I just can't understand why I never take my own advice. I mean, I usually know what to do, but I can't bring myself to do it. It's a really bad habit of mine. Everyone knows I'm stubborn and won't take advice, though. I usually have to just go through the worst to learn from my mistake. That's how I learn, I guess. I can't just take the easy way out, ever. I hate that about myself.


I'm trying really hard here not to care as much, but it's so hard. It's taking more energy for me to not care, than to actually care. Yet again, nothing new. Fighting myself for you. I just realize that my blogs always put you on blast, and put you in a bad light. I just want you to know that where you stand in my life is no where near the negative side. I can't help but to miss you, just a little bit. I just hate feeling vulnerable and lost.


jvo