Lately, I've been keeping to myself a lot. It's not that I don't have anyone to turn to, it's just, now, I've learned to cope with things independently. You have to realize that no one is going to solve your problems for you. You can't just shrug off the workload off to someone else. There's no one that will fully understand and comprehend the foundation of your mind; the infrastructure of the way I think is probably too contradicting for anyone to grasp. I'm a simple person that evaluate situations to the farthest level of complexity. After a lot of self-examination over the past few days, I've realized that my pride has often kept me from doing a lot of things. I realized that my biggest flaw is that I refuse to let anyone see any form of weakness. But not only is it one of my flaws, I do believe that it's one of my strongest attributes. Or maybe I just had too much time to think. I don't know. It's not a surprise I once again psychoanalyzed this...

This break might not do us any good. It might be the reason for us to end. But there's a chance that it might be the reason that will help us. It might even make us stronger. I really don't know it's pro's and con's. All I know is that this break is what seems right. It's the most plausible thing to do. I don't know what to tell you, other than every aspect of my mind has been boggled since the start of the fight. I don't know what to feel, or how to feel. Remorse? Relief? Stress? Anger? Sadness? Happiness? I don't know. My mind is completely numb.

Maybe it's true that I lost my best friend over something completely minuscule and small, but that minuscule and small issue is just a gateway to all these other problems. I'm not saying that I'm happier with you out of my life, I'm just saying that even without you here, I'm content and I'm stable. Fuck, I've made it this far without you, who said I won't go any further?


jvo