This week has been really stressful. Everything with school, prom, boys, and work. Thank god no fights with close friends, though. I always get caught up in that kind of stuff. I guess it's time to unwind and say what's been on my mind.

Last week, I guess I had a lot on my plate. So I sort of just ignored the world and redecorated my my room. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it was soooo stress relieving. Wednesday, I painted my room. It was three layers of paint. Primer, and 2 coats of the other paint. It's an olive greeen now, and must I say, it does relax me. On Thursday and Friday, I went to Ikea and bought a shit load of furniture. I'm proud to say that I did it ALL myself. I went to Ikea by myself and paid for everything. I brought it inside my house and assembled everything on my own. I spent 800 dollars redoing my room. And NO, I did NOT spend my Mom's money. I paid for everything myself with the money that I have been saving up. I guess you can say that being a waitress is a good job. That was 3 weeks of saving. In two days, I completely transformed my room. I bought a new bed frame, bookshelf, dresser, and desk. My arms got buffer from all the heavy lifting. I am not exaggerating... Andy calls me a body builder now.. -_- I finished everything Friday Night. It was so satisifying not having to depend on anyone, but myself.

Work? Yeah, it gets tiring and rough, but they're giving me a lot of hours and I'm happy to accept them. I love the atmosphere. And it's easy and fast money. Plus, what can be better than serving my favorite food? Crawfishhhhhhhh, yum.

Prom is totally stressing me out. The whole find a date, find a dress, find dinner resturants and all that is finally hitting me. This is my fourth prom, and you'd think that it'd get easier, but honestly, it doesn't. Liane and I stepped up and volunteered to plan things. Probably because if we let someone else do it, it'd be shitty as fuck. Everyone trusts us, so it's not that bad. But organizing everything for a group of 30? I'm going to fuckin' go bezerk. Not to mention that I have just 2 weeks to find a date... FML. And it really doesn't help where school has "PROM" plastered every where with advertisment. Thanks a lot T.Ngo, I owe you one -_-

I missed two days of school last week.. and catching up was a fucking bitch. Last night I stayed up til 5 am, and the night before, 330 am. Thank god for state testing. I can finally sleeeep in =) Tomorrow I don't have to go to school til 1:21, hehehehe.

My mom went to Vietnam. I do miss her, but it doesn't really feel any different. I've always been on my own, even when she is home. My grandma leaves every weekend for some meditation camp, so I sleep alone on the weekends. I do get creeeped out though.... I just lock up every possible thing in the house. Hahaha,

We always get into fights, I get it. But you're the one that always fuckin' start them, and you get all fuckin' pissed when I finish them. Loooking at you now, you're so fuckin' scandolous. I hear all these stories about how you're tryna get at everyone. And to think I almost gave in to you. Thank god I stood my ground. Tellin' all these people these biast fucking stories and shit. I know I would have hurt myself, and I was right.

The bruises you gave me lasted longer than you did. But I understand. Friends first! Hahah,

After four weeks of not talking, and two whole days of fighting, we're back to square one. Right back to where we were six months ago. Like I said, I hate when we fight because it feels like nothing ever gets solved. It's like we're backtracking, when I want to go forward. I guess I'm content on how things are, though. I'm letting YOU decide our flow and pace. But honestly, if things go the same way they were, or don't even alter, I'm not going to put up with it the second time around. Yeah, I'm still here and probably will for a bit longer, but I'm telling you this now, that I'm not going to be here forever. I'm just hoping that things will change and you will appreciate me a little bit more. Because truthfully, I doubt you will find someone who is willing to put up with you the way that I do.

With all this stress that's been hovering over me, I haven't had a chance to focus on working out. I haven't gymmed in a week, and I feel like what I eat should be the last thing on my mind, so I've been stuffing my face with fattening ass food that I probably wouldn't even have touched two weeks ago. Fuckin' shoot me in the head. I already gained some weight back. Fuck.

I've been a lot bitchier lately. People keep asking me if I'm on my rag. I'M NOT! I'm very honest when it comes to these things, but I just don't want to explain myself for my mood. I know that my guard is actually gettin' a lot harder to knock down. I've realized that there hasn't been a day in a while where I haven't heard someone call me mean. But honestly, I don't give a fuck. When you go through what the fuck I go through everyday, then I'll give you a fucking right to judge me for my behavior. Besides, those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind.

Cal State Fullerton or OCC? I haven't decided yet. Fullerton placement test on Saturday Morning though. FUCK.

I can't wait for summer.

jvo